Just A Mere Face
by Colorette
Summary: "...you never love me! I'm just a toy to you,a bragging item and just a mere face," a tear cascaded down my cheek as I wiped it off bitterly. Looking to those mesmerizing eyes,I sighed. "But please tell me those aren't true." But I know deep inside that those words are exactly the truth.


**Title** - _Just A Mere Face_

**Summary** - _"...you never love me! I'm just a toy to you,a bragging item and just a mere face," a tear cascaded down my cheek as I wiped it off bitterly. Looking to those mesmerizing eyes,I sighed. "But please tell me those aren't true." But I know deep inside that those words are exactly the truth._

**Pairing(s) **- _Masami (Mako and Asami)_

**Rating** -_ T,for some language_

**Disclaimer** - _I do not own anything._

**Additional** -_ I'm starting to hate Mako,that's it. Sheesh,and because of that,here is an angsty Asami fic. Not everything is depressing,I hope,I added some funny parts,I guess._

**Warning**_ - __Spoilers for some of the last episodes of Book 2._

* * *

**_"It wasn't that bad."_**

Words that keep replaying on my mind. I yanked my hair in frustration—not only frustration,actually all my feelings are all messed up,I'm going insane any minute from now. But the emotion that stood up the most was sadness. Very sad,very broken,very tragic,very hurt. How can he not say to Korra that they broke up and he started dating me again? Does he still love Korra?

I chuckled bitterly at that thought. Of course,he still loves Korra. He just used you,he just made you a rebound. He misses Korra so much that he pays attention to you.

And once again,my heart contradicted what my brain had to say. Mako would never do that to me,he said he'll never do anything to hurt me. Sighing deeply,looks like he just did hurt me.

"That this...us,doesn't work."

My head snapped up in attention. And yes,I am here watching them,being a martyr as usual. Hiding behind one of these wall pillars on this big hall. Staying here to hear their conversation even though I know that it will hurt me. I saw Mako sadly nodded at Korra's statement.

With Korra slowly leaning with a tear dropping down to her face,I instantly know what she's gonna do. My first thought was to look away but my eyes disobeyed me,like it is glued to the scene happening in front of me.

I embraced myself for the intense chestal pain as I saw their lips touched. I saw how their lips perfectly fit each other as it moved perfectly in rhythm. Feeling something wet on my palms,I didn't even know that my own tears started pouring out. I should be happy— that they are finally separating ways—right? But why am I still feeling this way? Why am I still hurting like this?! It is like any moment from now,my heart will be ripped out open. Cliche may it sounds,but damn,it's fucking true.

I balled up my palm into a fist but quickly unclenched it as I bit my lip harshly to avoid making any sobs. My vision is getting blurry as my teardrops continued to flow. Shaking my head,I don't understand myself. Earlier,I felt perfectly fine of myself. With no issues of the heartbreaking thing Mako did to me. Earlier,all I could think of was how to save the world. Now that Korra had saved it,it's like all the pain came back splashing in my face. I hate it. I hate feeling like this,I hate feeling so helpless.

My attention draw back to them as I heard Mako said something,something so...so tragic that it made my whole world stop and shattered once it returned to a play. "I will always love you,Korra." Hearing those words from the man I loved—and still has—to say that to another girl was enough for me. I ran away as far as possible,sobbing and gasping. From all the pain,I didn't even care if they had heard me or not. All I can feel and think of is how I am dying,not literally,but I might as well have.

I look down the hallway to see any place where I can kill myself. My eyes caught the powder room as I quickly headed towards it. First thing I saw was my reflection on the mirror. I look so wretched,broken,vulnerable. And that's the reason I want to end my life.

Green eyes search for something sharp or deadly to stab me but I found none. Not giving up,an idea formed into my mind. Maybe I could eat a soap. Or I could bump my head harshly into the sink so it can bleed. And maybe I could drown myself into the toilet bowl! Sighing as how stupid my ideas were but I really have to do it,to end this pain on the stupid organ that pumps my blood. First option is weird and I don't wanna taste a soap,I also heard that they were pretty bitter. Second option is gonna hurt me and starting from now,I despise feeling hurt. Third option is disgusting but...I guess it's the best choice.

Slowly walking towards the cubicle,I didn't bother to lock the door as I knelt down in front of the toilet. I was about to drown myself when my mind quickly back away in disgust. Not because of the toilet,but because of myself.

How can I stoop this low? How can I be so stupid! For women's sake,it is just a freaking boy who happens to freaking broke your fucking heart and then you're gonna end your life like that?! I burst out in exasperation as I sobbed once again. Yay,here comes the tears,note the sarcasm please.

And I dare to make sarcastic comments? I'm so horrible! You are better than that,Asami. Cheer up,it's just a boy. Forcing all my strength,I stood up from the tiled floor and found myself walking to the sink. Unconsciously washing my face smeared with make-up. Breathing deeply and steadily,I found myself feeling better as a small smile spread across my face.

But unfortunately,the good times only happened to end quickly like that as I saw Mako on the mirror. He is smirking and all I could think of was slapping his face to wipe off that damn smirk.

"Can't you still realize?"

I glared at him, "Realize what? That you broke my heart? Mako,just leave me alone. You have hurt me enough already."

"Oh," something is off about his voice and I couldn't tell what is it. "I'm not finished hurting you,yet. Do you wanna know the truth?"

I just stared at him,obviously bearing confusion all over my face. He did get the sign and continued, "**I never love you.** You are just a toy,a bragging item and a mere face."

I close my eyes as I felt hot liquid daring to fall again. When I flickered it open,tears freed and my mouth was agape. Mako...was gone. He just somehow disappeared on the mirror. And then realizing what it was,I sighed in relief. It was just an imagination,an illusion.

**"I never love you."**

My head quickly stared up in the mirror,and there he (more like it) was again. Looking back at me,smirking. I know it's an illusion but what if it's true? What if Mako truly didn't love me all along? Thinking of it just bring me extreme pain,what more if it's true? How am I gonna feel?

**"I never love you."**

**"I never love you."**

**"I never love you."**

Each time getting louder. Getting closer. Getting stuck in my mind. Giving me much more pain. Pouring down much more tears. Getting carved at my scarred heart.

**"I never love you."**

Teeth clanking. Eyes squeezed shut. Fists unclenching then clenching. Too much that I grabbed ahold of my stilettos and throw it harshly to the glass. Loud noise filled my ears as shard made contact with my skin. Hurting me. But it seems like I got numb physically and all I could feel is the pain inside me,emotionally.

Too weak to stand,I fell down the floor. Hair's a mess. Cuts showing everywhere. Tears falling down unstoppably. Then suddenly,I felt soft pair of warm arms hugging me. Too tired to open my eyes,I tried to ask who it was. Tried but failed as my mouth didn't open.

"Ssh! I'm here,Asami."

Hearing that voice makes me tear up more. But all those pained tears were replaced by content ones. And I feel like hating myself for giving in to him,to Mako so easily. What can I do? His soothing voice and warm body keeping me safe with a comforting embrace was enough for me.

"Hush,Asami." I can feel his thumb brushing off my tears as I tried to smile. I finally found my inner strength and gaze up to him. My eyes blinded from the sudden light,nevertheless,I caught a glimpse of him smiling but soon was filled with sadness.

"What happened to you?" His voice was so full of concern as usual. I shrugged as I audibly giggled. I can feel that his stare was serious so I tried to sit up. He helped me up.

"You broke my heart,you idiot." Now I was back to moody as I remembered once again the memories. I quickly shook my head to refrain it from hurting me again.

"I know," he sighed. "But this? Asami,you're strong."

I glared at him. "Wonder where those strength come from?"

He nodded as he clutched my hands to bring it close to his chest. "Still,you don't have to do this. It hurts me seeing you like this because I care about you."

Closing my eyes and re-opening it again,I look straight to his eyes. "Care? Yes. But love? No." He break the stare and look away. "You can't say anything," I observed. "Why?"

He was about to answer but I cut him off. "Because you never love me! I'm just a toy to you,a bragging item and just a mere face," a tear cascading down my cheek as I wiped it off bitterly. Raising my hand to his cheek as I caressed it softly. Looking to those mesmerizing eyes,I sighed. "But please tell me those aren't true." But I know deep inside that those words are exactly the truth.

He remained silent as I took it as an answer for the real truth. When he stared back at me,his eyes were full of pity. I wonder why but maybe because of my stained face—full of cuts,swollen lip,red nose,eyes so broken that you can see through it.

"Now that my face is like this,please tell me. Can you love me now?" His gaze fell again as I mumbled something under my breath. "Figures."


End file.
